so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just gargled with NyQuil
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
