So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
