can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
