Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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