I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
