dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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