We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
