Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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