My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You are the jesus of drinking
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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