It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was born a porn star she said
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
