____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
