Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
