i think my tv is drunk
Non-Jews are for practice
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
