he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
