My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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