What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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