so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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