i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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