I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
