Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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