Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
