it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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