Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
