i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
