sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
