I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
