Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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