"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
