Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Only a mothe r could love this liver
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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