These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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