I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
