Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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