well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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