there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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