Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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