you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
wow bdsm is so cute
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