According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
