worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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