Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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