white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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