Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
