So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
