I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize