that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
