That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
