I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
