Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
