So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
