i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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