margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
