Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
