Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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