I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
