Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
