Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Operation Purity has been aborted
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
