Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
