Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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