u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
