Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
there's paper in my vomit.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We have so much sex to catch up on
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize