Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
