fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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