Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
