Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
