it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
